And it was all Matsumoto's fault
by Toph Hitsugaya
Summary: It's a hot day and the air conditioners break. This leaves a very angry and possibly sick Toshiro. T for some swearing in later chapters. Before arrancar ark. The genre is humour but I'm not sure that I'm very funny. It's just meant to be funny. chapter 9 up. Finally
1. Chapter 1

And it was all Matsumoto's fault

Chapter 1: Spillage in the System

Summary: It's a hot day and the air conditioners break. This leaves a very angry and possibly sick Toshiro.

This will be my first story that was planned to be a continuation story. Angel in the snow was originally going to be a one shot but then I wrote another chapter so yeah, expect more chapters with this story.

Also I saw Iba on the bus yesterday. I'm not lying. It was him from the beard to the glasses. The only thing missing was the zanpakuto and the soul reaper outfit. Now I just need to find a Toshiro look alike. Heh heh heh.

Disclaimer: One day I will own Bleach and I will force Tite Kubo to draw up all off my ideas. MU HA HA HA. But for now, owning Bleach is a no go. Waaaaaaaaa

"Taicho" Matsumoto sung as she waltzed into the office, waving her sake bottle in the air. "The air conditioners just broke" She looked around for a chair saw that the couch she usually sat on was still being replaced from when Yachiru had drawn all over it in crayon and remained standing.

The white haired captain sitting behind the desk covered in paperwork looked up in alarm. Then his eyes narrowed and he looked at the all too innocent face on his fukutaicho. She beamed back at him and it was settled. She had something to d with this sudden break down of the cool air providers which he so desperately needed.

"Matsumoto, how did the air conditioners break?" he asked in a calm tone which was sure not to last.

"Well Taicho that's actually a very funny story" Matsumoto giggled nervously and sipped her sake in a not so casual way. Toshiro glared at the sake and the busty fukutaicho quickly stopped drinking, sensing her Taicho was extremely grumpy.

"Do enthral me with the niceties would you?" Toshiro reverted to using fancy words like he always did when he was close to snapping.

"Huh?" Matsumoto stared at her Taicho. "What did you say?"

Toshiro sighed and his eyebrow twitched. "I simply asked you to tell me the story of how our division air conditioners broke"

"Oh" Matsumoto's confused expression gave way to an overly happy face. "Well uh they um fell off the wall" She said brightly. "That is exactly what happened, no lies what so ever"

Toshiro resisted the urge to slap his head with his hand and instead gave Matsumoto his "Do you think I'm that stupid?" look. "Our air conditioners don't sit on the wall. We have an in wall system **(AN I have no idea what you call an air conditioner that isn't on the wall so there is my name) **making it impossible for the air conditioners to actually fall off the wall"

"I was kidding Taicho" Matsumoto said quickly. "What I meant to say was that um the stupid things just shut down"

"Really?" Toshiro drawled, rasing a white eyebrow. "But you said this would be a funny story so inform me on how this is funny?" When Toshiro got especially angry, he became 'cool, cruel and collected' as the shinigami women's society had nicknamed it.** (AN is that what's it's called, the shinigami women's society? I'm not really sure. If someone could tell me that would be nice)**

"Well uh I just thought it was because" Matsumoto looked around for inspiration. "Because I'm drunk and everything is funnier when you're drunk"

Toshiro smirked and got up from his desk, taking extra care not to bump the desk and spill ink over the recently completed paperwork. "But you never admit to being drunk do you Matsumoto?" He walked over to his stuttering fukutaicho. "So will you tell me again what happened to the air conditioners?"

"Fine" Matsumoto dropped her act as well as her now empty sake bottle which shattered on the floor. "I'll be picking that up after I've told you about the air conditioners won't I?" She rubbed her hair and looked sheepishly at the shards on the floor. Toshiro nodded and waited. He knew that Matsumoto would begin explaining if he just stood there and glared at her. Eventually Matsumoto launched into her story.

"Well I was walking past one of the air conditioner vents, one that isn't on the roof but rather on the wall and since I was you know, drunk, I decided to poor some sake into the vent to see what would happen, because I was drunk I would never do that sober and then there was a spark coming from the vent so I ran and hid behind that antique chest you had put in the corridor and spilled some sake on it and it will probably stain and then the vent went _poof _and all this smoke came out of it and then I realised that I had probably destroyed the whole system and I checked the little box thingy where you turn on the air conditioner and I was right, I had destroyed it" All of this was said in one long, hurriedly said sentence. "Also it's going to be over 40 degrees tomorrow" Matsumoto turned and ran out the offie before Toshiro could freeze her with Hyourinmaru.

Toshiro stood there twitching a little as he pondered over what Matsumoto had just said. It was going to be over 40 degrees tomorrow. Matsumoto had poured sake into the entire system. She had stained his chest. It would take a while to even let someone know that the air conditioners had been broken in the fist place. He had an ice zanpakuto. He couldn't handle the heat. It was going to be over 40 degrees tomorrow. Toshiro knew he was screwed. It finally sunk in.

"MATSUMOTO!"

I know, I know, it's really short but the next chapter will be longer, I promise. Please review. Only 2 people have ever reviewed me so far. I hope that will change.


	2. Day 1, The captains meeting

**And it was all Matsumoto's fault**

**Chapter 2: Day 1, the captain's meeting**

**I am super excited to be posting this chapter because people reviewed and favourited my story and are following it. I hope I can make you guys all happy with this update. **

**I would like to thank StealthSage, forever122, Frosty Dew, Akakakeshi and Linkinparkeando and a guest with no name for reviewing, favouriting and following. You guys are awesome. I ran around the house screaming and waking my siblings up, I was so happy and excited. **

**Thanks Frosty Dew and forever122 for correcting my mistakes. **

**Disclaimer: I dreamt a dream that bleach was mine. Unfortunately, mum woke me up for 7:00 swimming where the next oldest person there was like 50. That's a big, big difference. **

Toshiro woke drenched in sweat. He pushed his drooping snowy locks out of his face and scowled. Why weren't the air conditioners on? Why was his room so hot? Then he remembered. A certain drunken fukutaicho thought it would be fun to pour sake into the air conditioning system. This certain fukutaicho also thought it would be fun to do this 1 day before a heat wave and a captains meeting. A long captains meeting.

Toshiro growled again and got up. He discarded his tank top and shorts in favour for the normal black outfit and his white haori. As he picked up the white garment he noticed that a scribbling of words was splashed across it in fluorescent pink paint. The same pink paint that a certain pink haired fukutaicho had been using to paint the seretei streets a few days ago. Now his haori had 'kick me' and 'I'm a grumpy stuffy icicle' written across the back. And the captains' meeting was in an hour. Did he have a spare haori? If so, where was it?

Toshiro began tearing through draws. He found a scarf from Ukitake, countless cutesy clothes from Matsumoto that he refused to wear as the least embarrassing had 'I AM NO SORT, I'M JUST GRAVITY'S BEST FRIEND' written across it. His only other clothes were lots of the everyday shinigami outfit but there was no spare haori. The prodigy sunk to his knees in the pile of clothes and suppressed the urge to scream 'MY LIFE SUCKS!" at the top of his voice. The Head Captain was going to kill him.

"Hi Taicho" Matsumoto suddenly popped into his room. "I took your spare haori to the dry cleaners this morning. It wasn't dirty or anything but I decided that it needed a clean. Aren't you proud of me for doing my work? Uh Taicho, are you ok?"

Toshiro glared his favourite death stare at Matsumoto. Then he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"MATSUMOTO!"

In the first division, the Head captain titled his head to the side as Sasakibe Fukutaicho poured him tea. "Did you hear that?"

Matsumoto was gone in a flash, leaving her Taicho to fix his own problem. Toshiro sighed and got up from the pile of discarded outfits. Whose stupid idea was it to only have 1 spare haori? If so, he was going to kill that person or at the very least, have them clean the entire seretei. Toshiro held up his haori and decided that the only thing left to do was go talk to the Head Captain about why he would be attending the captain's meeting sporting a pink paint splashed haori.

Toshiro quickly shunpoed to the First Division and knocked on the door. A hassled looking shinigami answered and when she saw who it was that had answered, she gulped.

"Uh Hitsugaya Taicho, how can I help you?" She asked nervously whilst on the inside she was screaming that she didn't want to be turned into a Popsicle.

"May I please speak to the Head captain?" Toshiro asked politely though on the inside he was screaming for the Head Captain to please be available and to be in a good mood.

"Uh sure" The girl led Toshiro inside and took him to a room. Inside was Head Captain Yamamoto.

"Ah Hitsugaya Taicho, what can I do for you?" The old man asked.

"Uh I'm sorry to bother you sir but I just came to tell you that Kusajishi fukutaicho painted the back of my haori with pink paint and my fukutaicho sent my other haori to the dry cleaner and so I will have to attend the meeting in the paint splashed one. I'm very sorry sir"

"Oh is this so Hitsugaya Taicho? And what was written on your haori?"

Toshiro reluctantly held up the white article of clothing and stayed silent as the Head Captain read the words painted there, even though his eyes looked like they were closed. This had always puzzled Toshiro. How did the man read?

And then the Head captain began to laugh and Sasakibe fukutaicho ran in because he thought his captain was having a fit. This was not the start to a god day. And it was so hot already.

_Captain's meeting_

Toshiro thanked whoever had decreed that captain's meeting should have the captains in 2 lines facing inwards and not just walking around and mingling or standing wherever they chose to. There was now only a slim chance of anyone seeing his paint covered haori. He then cursed whoever decided that there should be no air conditioning otherwise the Head Captain would get upset. Seriously, did they even take into account that there was such thing as an ice zanpakuto and that maybe one day, the wielder of such a zanpakuto might become a captain? And did those idiots forget that wielders of ice zanpakuto were extremely sensitive to heat.

Toshiro was just starting to feel sweat dripping down his brow and he began to feel dizzy. He silently cursed Hyourinmaru for being an ice zanpakuto.

"**So now it's my fault huh?" **Hyourinmaru growled.

Toshiro ignored him. If he was feeling the heat, Hyourinmaru was feeling it 10 times worse. He was made of ice after all; in fact he was probably melting right now.

Toshiro was wishing that perhaps he could sit down too or even just skip the entire meeting when the Head captain banged his bane on the ground for silence.

"We will begin today's meeting with a new idea suggested by Unohana Taicho. She was quite adamant in this idea and I uh um decided straight away that it should go forth"

"And what is this idea?" Aizen Taicho asked curiously.

"We will all be talking about something we like so that we should get to know each other better. Then we can move onto the more serious matters"

Toshiro wanted to run up and strangle Unohana Taicho. He wanted to run screaming from the room. He wanted to collapse on the ground where it would probably be just a bit cooler. He knew all the captains, why did he have to suffer through this? He stayed standing though, and listened to the Head captain drone on about how nice tea was and how lovely Unohana Taicho was. Toshiro noticed that Unohana was looking quite smug.

He then listened to Soi-Fon Taicho gush over Yoruichi and how she had decided to stat up a kitty care centre called 'The Yoruichi Kitty Care Centre.'

He listened to Gin talk about not really anything. From what Toshiro could tell, he was talking about a stupid tree and a swimming pool.

Unohana talked about how she would like the eleventh division to stop bullying the fourth division. Kenpachi gulped and shuffled nervously as she gave him a dazzling smile.

Aizen talked about how proud he was to be the Taicho of the fifth company. The only thing wrong with tis was that he talked for about half an hour and Toshiro could feel his clothes sticking to his body. If this meeting went any longer, he might be in trouble of being permanently stuck in the dammed things.

Byakuya talked about how he liked to follow orders and that everyone should follow orders.

Kommamura talked about dogs fro some strange reason. And the Head Captain.

Kyoraku talked about Sake. Toshiro ignored him. He was a kid. An extremely grumpy and hot kid but a kid nonetheless. And that meant no sake!

Tosen babbled on about the path of justice for an hour. He described everything in detail and the talked about his religion he was starting, which was going to be called 'The Path of Justice, for all Justice Lovers.' Toshiro had the funniest feeling that no body but Hisagi would be in a hurry to join.

"I don't like anything" Toshiro said when it was his turn. "Except perhaps the cold" He thought that maybe the Head Captain would take a hint but Yamamoto couldn't take a hint if it walked up to him introduced itself and invited him for a cup of tea.

Kenpachi talked about killing to no one's surprise.

Toshiro ignore Mayuri's speech, even when he was just reporting about his division they made him want to throw up and in this heat, he probably wouldn't be able to stop himself fro doing so.

Ukitake talked about friendship and having a family. Toshiro thought about dim-witted, bed wetter Momo who was probably gushing over a picture of Aizen. She was family no matter how annoying she was. But he was jealous of her now for having a fire based zanpakuto. Tobiume made things explode in fire so that meant that it was fire based right?

"And now we will begin the main section of the meeting" The Head Captain declared. Toshiro wanted to scream again and rip out his hair. The meeting had already gone on for about 2 hours. He was ready to faint from heatstroke and who knew what Matsumoto was doing. She was probably pouring sake into all the other holes she could find, including the water system.

So when an alarm went off, signifying a large group of menos in the living world, Toshiro was so glad that he was chosen to go kill said menos.

As he turned to go, Kyoraku spoke up.

"Hey grumpy stuffy icicle, did you now you've got paint on your back?"

And every single captain, excluding Mayuri and Soi-Fon started to laugh. And Toshiro hurried away with 2 fukutaicho's on his to kill or seriously maim list.

**Yet again, my humour may not be that good. I'm sorry if I disappoint any of you. I really am. **

**Don't be afraid to review and tell me what you really think. I'm always open to suggestions. **


	3. Defeating Menos

**And it was all Matsumoto's fault 3**

**Day 1: Defeating Menos**

**I got an amazing review from a guest called Lissa. Thank you so, so much. It really made my day.**

**Also thanks to Forever122, a guest and anime ice dragon for reviewing. Thanks you guys.**

**And to my new friend ZakuroU, you are awesome!**

**I have no excuse for how late this is except that I finally got to watch Princess Mononoke and it was awesome! And it took up my writing time. Soz**

**Disclaimer: Excuse me why I wallow in misery over the fact that Tite Kubo owns Bleach and not me**

It was actually a surprise to Toshiro that Ichigo and his friends weren't on the scene of the menos when he arrived. But crap was it hot in Karakura town. The menos were just milling around for some reason as if the thought it was hot too. The menos had decided to gather at a soccer field of all places which was the same field where he had met Karin, Ichigo's younger sister. **(AN thanks forever122 for the suggestion of a soccer field, you gave me a great idea) **

"With you on that one" Toshiro muttered as he prepared to take them down. Then the sun which had been kindly hiding behind a cloud decided to come out and blind Toshiro plus make the temperature a whole lot hotter. "Crap" Toshiro growled as sweat began to bead is forehead. 'Hyourinmaru, let's take these jerks down"

"**Uh master we may have a problem**" Hyourinmaru rumbled. Toshiro glared at the zanpakuto in is hand.

"And what is this problem?" He asked icily. **(AN no pun intended) **

"**I'm uh melting in this heat" **

"Crap" Toshiro muttered.

"**You use that word an awful lot master" **Hyourinmaru said lightly.

"Well Granny said that it was rude to swear" Toshiro defended himself.

"**But master, isn't crap a swear word?" **Hyourinmaru said weakly.

Then the hollows attacked. Now Toshiro had moved his position once the sun had come out and the menos had been providing shade for the grumpy Taicho. When they moved, the heat that Toshiro was already feeling rose by 10 times.

'I'm going to kill Matsumoto" Toshiro growled as he summoned a kido. "And I'm going to do it slowly"

"**Ah master, are you feeling ok?" **Hyourinmaru asked in concern as Toshiro dodged a cero, flipped in the air and flew forward to slash one menos in half.

"It's just so dam hot" Toshiro said as he fainted from exhausting his body in the heat.

"**MASTER!"**

**-00000-**

"Can you see any blood?"

"We're lucky we got here I time"

"I still think you shouldn't have come along"

"Aw put a sock in it before I put one in there for you"

"I think he's waking"

Toshiro opened his eyes and was met with 3 faces staring right at him. One was Ichigo, the other a friend of Ichigo's, Chad was his name and the last person, Karin Kurosaki.

"Hey Toshiro what happened?" Karin asked in concern.

"Stupid Head Captain happened" Toshiro thought though he didn't say it aloud. Instead he just shrugged. "It's too hot"

Ichigo started laughing. And he couldn't stop. "So let me get this straight" He said between laughs. "You fainted because you can't handle the heat?"

"Well what type of zanpakuto do you think Hyourinmaru is you baka?" Toshiro snarled.

"But you're a captain. And the menos don't take you out, the temperature does?"

"Laugh anymore Kurosaki and there'll be hell to pay" Toshiro hissed, still feeling sick from the heat.

Ichigo, however, didn't heed the warning and kept laughing. And then he had the guts to ask why his legs were frozen to the ground. Karin laughed and the looked over at Chad who was moving away.

"Where you going Chad?" She asked.

"Home" Chad said simply and left. Karin waved and then turned back to her struggling brother and her pale friend who was now very red in the face.

"So are you going to go back to the soul society now?" She asked Toshiro whilst Ichigo punched hopelessly at the ice he was encased in.

"Yes, I have to report to the Head captain" Toshiro explained as he wiped his sweaty brow. His forehead was practically producing a river right now.

"Don't you want to play soccer with me?" Karin pulled a soccer ball out from nowhere. Toshiro didn't even try to work out where she had been hoarding it. Instead he gave her a grim smile and ignored the yelling of a certain strawberry.

"In this heat, you have to be kidding"

"Too bad I'm not" Karin glared.

"Look I fainted from just dodging and killing a menos. Soccer is jus gonna make me worse" Toshiro said stiffly, hating the fact that he had to admit how weak he was in the heat.

"Come on just one game" Karin wheedled.

"Or you could let me out" Ichigo suggested hopefully.

"Please Kurosaki. In this heat, the ice will be gone in no time" Toshiro sighed. "And I'm not playing soccer"

"Then how about coming back home for a slushy?" Karin asked hopefully.

Toshiro paused. What was a slushy? Did it have to do with soccer? Was it painful? Would it make him even hotter?

"It's an icy drink" Ichigo supplied helpfully. Toshiro glared at the ten and pulled put a certain weapon. Ichigo was left screaming as Karin and Toshiro walked away, leaving him up to his neck in ice.

"A slushy would be nice" Toshiro was saying.

"Say Toshiro do you hear something?" Karin laughed as Ichigo used a bunch of swear words that even he shouldn't know.

"Nope" Toshiro replied, acting his age for once.

And then the 2 were gone leaving a frozen Ichigo to wait until someone showed up. And knowing his luck, it would probably be Uryu.

**I want to thank a friend at school for giving me an idea for the next chapter. If anyone else has ideas as to how Toshiro should spend this hot time, feel free to review and tell them. I might end up using them. Until next time, bye. And sorry tis chapter is short. I really am.**


	4. Slushies and Brain Freezes

**And it was all Matsumoto's fault **

**Slushies and brain freezes**

**Hi all**

**I dedicate this chapter to my new bestie ZakuroU. What an awesome friend and supporter of me. **

**Ad thanks to everyone who reviewed and followed and favourited. YOU GUYS MAE ME SO HAPPY! Every time this happens I smile (kofkof run around the house screaming my head off kofkof)**

**I also realised that this is set before the betrayal but Ichigo and Co are here. So let's say Aizen is waiting patiently. Yeah? Or maybe he's not evil in my story. Who knows?**

**I just watched Castle in the Sky. I LOVE STUDIO GHIBLI!**

**Disclaimer: I already got my birthday present (even though my birthday hasn't come yet) so no Bleach this year. But soon. **

Toshiro followed Karin home in the heat. He wasn't sure why he had agreed to go have this 'slushy' yet here he was.

"We have 3 flavours a home" Karin was saying as they walked, she kicking her soccer ball along and Toshiro with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"Uh huh" Toshiro wasn't really sure how else to respond.

"There's grape, blue raspberry and lemon. I like grape the best"

"Yeah" Toshiro yanked his soul phone out as it beeped.

_Where are you? The meeting is long finished!_

"Who's that from?" Karin pointed.

"Matsumoto" Toshiro shrugged. "She wants to know where I am"

_Human world on mission_

_OMG HAVE YOU SEEN KARIN YET? If so, are you on a date? Have you kissed? Am I going to get grandchildren?_

Toshiro snapped the phone shut and resisted the urge to throw it far away.

"What did that say?" Karin asked as they turned a corner into the street that Karin lived on.

"Uh it says that um comeback soon" Toshiro said weakly.

"Ok" Karin accepted this and opened the door to the house.

"I'M HOME!" She yelled and immediately dodged to the right. A man came flying by her and crashed into the ground. He would have crashed into Toshiro if he hadn't neatly stepped to the side.

"Goat face has decided its time to start sharpening me up" She explained to Toshiro who poked cautiously at the man with his foot. Toshiro was in his gigai so he could be seen. The man looked familiar but he followed Karin, forgetting about the man on the ground who was groaning about how strong his daughter was and how maybe he should move on to training Yuzu.

As the two entered the kitchen, Toshiro realised how hot it was inside the Kurosaki house.

"Karin, how come it's really hot in here?" Toshiro asked as Karin moved around the kitchen, pulling out random things like glasses and a box with bright lettering all over it.

"Huh?" Karin yanked some liquids in bottles out of a cupboard. "Old goat face poured sake into the air conditioners. He came home drunk last night and thought he should try it and see what happened"

And Toshiro just stared as Karin set a machine whirling.

"You're kidding right?" he asked as there was a grinding noise from the machine.

"Nope" Karin sighed. "I really want to know where he gets all the ridicules ideas from."

"You and me both" Toshiro muttered.

"Eve when he's sober, he's an idiot"

"I fel your pain"

Toshiro sat on a chair and watched Karin make 2 slushies. She had got herself grape and had got him a blue raspberry flavoured slushy.

"Have a try" Karin slid the glass over to Toshiro who picked it up and looked at the lurid blue colour.

"Is it poison?" He asked, not sure if tis was some sort of joke.

"What, no!" Karin sighed. "It's just a drink. You know like coke?"

"I drink tea" Toshiro muttered.

"Well yeah but it's like 40 degrees. Are you really gonna drink tea now?"

"Fine" Toshiro held the cup up and bravely took a sip. The cool ice rushed down his throat leaving him feeling cool and refreshed, something he hadn't felt since Matsumoto had totalled his life saver. "Wow this is great" Toshiro said in surprise, taking another sip.

"Told you so" Karin poked her tongue out at him, revealing that it had turned purple, the same colour as the drink.

"Hey your tongue's purple!" Toshiro exclaimed.

"So, I bet your's blue" Karin retorted. "Come on show me"

"Huh?" Toshiro reluctantly stuck is tongue out. How come whenever he was with Karin, he always found himself acting like a kid?

"See its blue!" Karin laughed. She got up and scrabbled through a pile of junk on the island bench, finally producing a pocket mirror that couldn't have been hers. She held it up to Toshiro who pocked his tongue out again and to his shock, he saw that it was indeed, blue.

"What?" Was all Toshiro could say.

'It's the food colouring" Karin threw the mirror away and then winced as she heard a small smash. "I'm gonna have to get Yuzu a new mirror"

"So how have you been?" Toshiro asked awkwardly as Karin sat back down, ignoring the glass on the floor.

"I never took you to be a small talk guy" Karin teased as she sipped her drink.

"I'm not" Toshiro muttered, feeling his cheeks burn. 'I just didn't know what else to say"

Dam Karin and the way he admitted everything around her. It wasn't like him.

To cover his embarrassment, Toshiro took a long sip of his cold slushy and then gasped as his head suddenly began to hurt.

"Ah" He cried and gripped his head. "I knew it was poison. You're trying to kill me"

He dimly heard Karin laughing over his pain. "Toshiro it's not poison it's a brain freeze"

"What?" He was saying what a lot today.

"Ha, ha it's a brain freeze. You drank it too fast and now your head's really cold"

"Hmmph, I don't get cold" Toshiro said as he shook his head to see if that would lesson the pain.

"I think a brain freeze is different" Karin sild.

"Curse brain freezes" Toshiro snapped.

"What's that? My little angel has a brain freeze? Let daddy hold her cold head to his chest" Karin's dad burst into the room and was greeted by a fist.

"I DON'T HAVE THE BRAIN FREEZE YOU DUMBO, MY FRIEND DOES!" Karin shouted. "NOW GO AWAY"

Toshiro watched the man slink away and realised that his pain was fading.

"Sorry about that" Karin sat back down and finished off her slushy. "My dad is a complete baka"

"It's ok" Toshiro cautiously finished his drink. He didn't want another brain freeze.

"So what do you want to do?" Karin asked as she picked up the glasses and placed them in the sink.

"I need to get back to the soul society" Toshiro got up.

"What?" Toshiro watched disappointment spread over Karin's face. "You mean this isn't a long mission like last time?"

"Sorry but no. Just a simple wipe out mission. I didn't even need back up" Toshiro winced as his phone vibrated again.

"That's dangerous Toshiro. You fainted. You could have been killed." Karin scolded.

"But I wasn't" Toshiro pointed out as he flipped open his phone.

_So you are with Karin? Where did you take her? Are you paying? Don't do anything naughty Taicho. And bring me back some sake I'm all out. And some clothes! And maybe some makeup, that would be nice._

Toshiro gritted his teeth and clenched his empty fist. "I'm going to kill her" he muttered.

"Kill who?" Karin asked as Toshiro prepared to leave.

"You'll see once she's dead" Toshiro said. "I hope you don't get fired for killing subordinates out of anger"

"Well bye Toshiro. It's been fun" Karin waved and stuck her still purple tongue out.

"Yeah" Toshiro agreed.

"_I actually did have fun"_ He thought.

Then he was gone leaving Karin standing alone in the kitchen.

"Was that a boyfriend darling daughter? If so, I want his name number and address. And how long have you been dating. Does he go to your school? Does Ichigo know him? And what about Yuzu? And have you bee on a date ye? Did he pay? Do I know his parents? And if he hurts you in any way, daddy will be here to kill him and you can cry on my shoulder about how much of a jerk he is. But if he doesn't hurt you and if you get married, daddy will have grand–"

"SHUT THE HELL UP GOAT FACE, HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND AND INSTEAD OF YOU KILLING HIM, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

**This chapter just came pouring out. Sorry if you find it short but I really wanted to end on an argument between Karin and Isshin. Does anyone have ay ideas as what should happen to Toshiro next?**

**And BTW, I finished the most annoying, longest, stupidest science project in the world. I feel so stress free now. This project actually caused me to have a mental breakdown. But now I can work on my stories more. YAY**

**Well bye.**


	5. A Bath?

**A Bath?**

**And it was all Matsumoto's Fault 5**

**This is dedicated to Forever122 who has been reviewing all the time. He/she is incredibly awesome and they have the best ideas. Thanks Forever122!**

**Also hi to my new buddies ZakuroU and Jasmine. Hee, hee Jasmine is scared of clowns. **

**Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. And it never will be. *sobs* I don't even own this computer. **

Toshiro marched through the Seretei towards the first division barracks to report to the head captain. He skilfully shunpoed past Soi Fon who looked like she was in an especially bad mood, dodged a overly hyper Yachiru who was armed wit more pink paint but didn't realise who was following him until it was too late.

"CHIBI TAICHO!" An overly happy voice yelled as Toshiro was hugged from behind.

"Get off me Gin" Toshiro scowled, not even needing t turn around to see who had grabbed him.

"Oh you're no fun Chibi Taicho" Gin pouted and withdrew his arms.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! Toshiro yelled, his brow twitching.

"Hold on Chibi, did I just see what I thought I saw?" Gin pretended to be shocked.

"What?" Toshiro was surprised at the sudden change in conversation that he forgot to yell at Gin for calling him Chibi.

"Stick out your tongue" Gin ordered.

"What oh NO WAY!" Toshiro remembered what had happened in the world of the living when he had had the strange drink with Karin.

"Come on Chibi, I wanna see it" Gin pleaded, trying and failing to look cute.

"As if I would let you gahh!" Toshiro gagged as Gin's hand sot forward and grabbed his tongue.

"It's blue!" Gin exclaimed in delight, tugging at the tongue.

"Lah ga of ma tonga" Toshiro spluttered, gasping for air as he was yanked to and fro by his tongue.

"It's blue, it's blue" Gin sung. "Blue Chan, blue Taicho, Chibi blue Taicho"

Toshiro grabbed Gin's hand with his hand and dug his nails in extremely hard **(An I do this to my siblings when they grab me, I call it nail torture and it is always affective. My nails are the sharpest in the family)**

"EEK!" Gin withdrew his hand, leaving Toshiro gagging and spitting.

"You baka" Toshiro spluttered. "You could have killed me"

"Awwww I wouldn't have Chibi Taicho, I jus wanted HEY!"

Toshiro had shunpoed away, leaving Gin examining his nail imprinted hand and singing _"Blue Chibi Taicho Chan" _under his breath.

Talking to the head captain was a pain. The Head captain droned on about the tea he had just enjoyed with his fukutaicho and then he asked Toshiro why it had taken so long to come back from the mission which was meant to be easy to which Toshiro admitted to going back to Kurosaki's house.

"And why is this Hitsugaya Taicho?" The Head Captain asked, folding his hands over and leaning his head on them in an attempt to look cunning and clever. Toshiro just thought he looked like a grandpa trying to look cunning and clever, not that he would ever say this outloud.

"Unfortunately the heat rendered me unconscious and Ichigo took me back to his house to treat my heat stroke" Toshiro lied soothly, hoping the captain might distinguish this as a hint to stop using his zanpakuto to heat the room. If he sweated anymore, he could save the Seretei from a drought. But the Head Captain was as clueless as always.

"Well remember to write this report up" The Head captain sad. 'And I bid you goodbye"

"Goodbye sir" Toshiro bowed and left but stopped when the Head captain called out.

"Hitsugaya Taicho, was your tongue blue?"

Toshiro resisted the urge to dig a hole, climb into it, make sure it had an air conditioner and the stay there forever.

Instead he shook his head and once out of sight of the head Captain (not that his eyes were open) and shunpoed away as fast as possible.

Back in the tenth division, Renji and Matsumoto were wincing at the mess they had caused and imaging the inevitable MATSUMOTO that was sure to come when Hitsugaya Taicho came back.

Hitsugaya stopped on the way back to talk to an unseated member of his squad to ask what he would do on a hot day.

"Take a cold bath sir" The boy bowed. "And then have a cold drink and maybe find a swimming pool"

"Thank you" Toshiro couldn't be bothered shunpoeing anymore, it was too hot, so he resigned to waking dejectedly back to the barracks to have a cold bath and find a swimming pool.

He entered his office to find a flustered Matsumoto sitting at her desk, bent over….. Wait a moment WAS THAT PAPERWORK!?

Toshiro struggled to keep his face blank.

_Don't faint, don't react, be calm, be calm, be calm_

"What are you doing?" Toshiro managed to get out.

"What ah oh Taicho" Matsumoto stuttered. "I'm uh doing the paperwork"

"But you never d the paperwork" Toshiro frowned. Something wasn't right here.

"Taicho that's mean" Matsumoto pouted. "I've uh decided to make it up to you because I poured sake into the AC"

"AC?" Toshiro said blankly.

"Air conditioning, honestly Taicho, you need to catch up on all these modern abbreviations" Matsumoto twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

"Whatever" Toshiro ignored the blunt suggestion at being more relaxed and 'chill' as Matsumoto called it. "Well since your doing the paperwork, I'm off to have a cold bath I'm sweaty, I smell disgusting and if I get anymore hotter, Hyourinmaru will melt"

"Uh does having a bath require using the water system?" Matsumoto asked casually, too casually for Toshiro's liking.

"Of course it does" Toshiro snapped.

"Uh well about that" Matsumoto stammered.

"Please don't tell me you poured sake into the water system" Toshiro sighed, only half joking.

'Well no but something did uh happen to the water system"

_Flashback_

"_Uh I suck so much at kid and Taicho has banned me from practicing it at the barracks as I just end up blowing everything up" Renji complained to Matsumoto. _

"_Well I know a place where we can practice" Matsumoto grinned, happy for an excuse to stop doing the paperwork. "There's this secluded area in our barracks. All that's there is the water system. We can practice there" _

"_But won't your Taicho be angry"_

"_Nah, he's on a mission to the real world. Coe one mister worry wart" _

_End flashback_

"And we were practicing the red flame canon and we uh um well lets see weblewupthewatersystem" Matsumoto said in a rush.

"You what!?" Toshiro yelled. Usually the temperature would have dropped but it was too hot for this to happen.

"We blew up the water system well Renji blew the system up, I just watched" Matsumoto shrugged.

"So you blew up our water system" Toshiro said slowly and coldly.

"I just said that Taicho, are you going deaf?"

Toshiro ignored this.

"And because of this, I can't have a cold bath" It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Well yeah I guess so"

"And the air conditioners are still broken"

"Uh huh"

"And I don't suppose you have a really, really cold swimming pool handy like the one in our division?"

"About the swimming pool….."

"MATSUMOTO!"

In the sixth division, Renji winced.

_Yep it's happened….._

**You like you like? If so, please review, please, please, please. **

**Did I do Gin well? And I love making the Head captain see dim and silly. **

**Until next time, BYE  
**

**PS Sorry if you find it short, I jus wanted to update as soon as possible And lets all sing happy birthday to my sister who's birthday is on Wednesday!**


	6. Public bath Supervision

**And it was all Matsumoto's fault 6**

**I have been running around my house singing "Blue Chibi Taicho Chan" at the top of my lungs. Then mum said shut up. Heh, Heh, it's catchy **

**Thanks Forever122 for the idea. You are a massive help. **

**Disclaimer: I wonder….. Nope not mine. And it's all Matsumoto's fault. Lol just kidding. **

**Bold= Hyourinmaru**

_Italics= Toshiro thinking/speaking in his head_

**Public bath Supervision**

Toshiro stared at his paperwork and counted the drops of sweat that were dropping onto it.

_1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-_

"Blue Chibi Taicho Chan" Matsumoto sang under her breath.

Toshiro's eye twitched.

"Blue Chibi Taicho Chan"

His other eye twitched.

"Blue Chibi Taicho Chan"

His eyes twitched at the same time though technically it was just a series of rapid blinks.

"Blue Chibi Taicho-"

"Matsumoto" Toshiro snapped.

"Neh Taicho" Matsumoto looked up from the desk where she was being forced to do paperwork.

"Please stop that" Toshiro said through gritted teeth

"Sorry Taicho but it's just so catchy. Gin is so smart"

Toshiro groaned and pressed his head against the desk in hopes that it would be cooler. He quickly raised his head again so ha h wouldn't see childish but the piece of paperwork came with him, stuck to his forehead by sweat. Did the Seretei purposely make itself hot?

"Oh Taicho that's so funny" Matsumoto pulled a camera out of nowhere and snapped a picture of the Taicho with his papery forehead. "Oh the Shinigami women's Association is going to love this"

"MATSUMOTO!"

"What EEK TAICHO!"

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

Toshiro opened his eyes to water. He didn't have time to close his eyes as the water hit him in the face. He sat up spluttering and spitting out the water.

"Matsumoto" He gasped.

"Oh sorry Taicho but you fainted. It must be the heat. Perhaps I should turn the AC on"

"You poured sake into the air conditioning system, remember"

"Oh I did to" Matsumoto waved her hand. "The perhaps a bah"

"Renji blew up our water system when he was _training with you_"

"Oh yeah" Matsumoto frowned and the brightened. "Then we'll go to the public bath"

"But the paperwork" Toshiro protested weakly, looking over at his desk.

"Oh come on Taicho, it'll cool you down" Matsumoto pleaded.

"You jus want a makeover" Toshiro said grumpily as he began to feel hot again, the cool water evaporating in the heat.

"That's mean Taicho" Matsumoto pouted. "I'm worried about you"

"I can't" Toshiro was so close to snapping at his fukutaicho.

**I want to go to the baths **

_Shut up Hyourinmaru_

**But I'll melt**

_You won't if I don't _

"Come on Taicho"

"NO!"

"Fine it's the baths or the 4th division when you get heatstroke"

"…."

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

"I can't believe I actually came" Toshiro growled his hands folded over and his face fixed in a scowl.

"Oh come on Taicho relax" Matsumoto giggled.

She dragged the grumpy Taicho up to the desk.

"Oh Matsumoto fukutaicho hello" the lady smiled. "And you brought Hitsugaya Taicho too"

"Yep" Matsumoto beamed. She turned to Toshiro. "I forgot my purse" She said, not sounding the leas bit annoyed about this.

"Fine just put it on my tab" Toshiro growled. He wasn't going to stop growling until he was far, far away from the public baths.

The lady nodded and tapped some stuff up.

"When can I get my own tab Taicho?" Matsumoto asked.

"Never"

"Taicho"

"In you go" She smiled.

Toshiro headed to the males entrance when a voice froze him in his tracks.

"Remember children can't go in unsupervised"

"Oh well Taicho, you'll just have to come in wit me"

"MATSUMOTO!"

**(AN he's screaming MATSUMOTO a lot in this chapter) **

"Taicho open your eyes, it's fine" Matsumoto pleaded as the two sat submerged in cool water"

"No" Toshiro said stubbornly. "The women are all naked"

"But you're a child Taicho they'd all understand"

"No" Toshiro said firmly, his cheeks going red.

"Are you still hot Taicho?" Matsumoto asked.

"No" Toshiro muttered.

Matsumoto let the matter drop.

Toshiro sat in the water, eyes closed, letting the cool feel of the water against his skin. It was almost peaceful. He women weren't loud gossipers despite what some thought. They chatted quietly, allowing Toshiro to rest. For once today, he wasn't feeling hot. But of course he couldn't stay relaxed and left alone for long.

"Is that Hitsugaya Taicho?"

"Oh my gosh, he is so cute"

"I can't believe he has to be supervised by Rangiku"

"I know, he must be so angry"

"Have you heard what Gin's been singing"

"No, what?"

"It's about Hitsugaya Taicho"

"I've heard that"

"Are you talking about Taicho?"

"Yeah Rangiku, he is so cute"

"We were discussing the song"

"Oh you mean Blue Chibi Taicho Chan"

"Yes that one. Gosh, your boy friend is so smart"

"He's not my boyfriend"

"But you are_ really _close right?"

"How about we go talk to Taicho"

"Sure Rangiku"

_No, no, no, don't come over_

**I think they're coming over**

_Shut up Hyourinmaru_

"Hi Hitsugaya Taicho" A voice spoke.

Toshiro refused to open his eyes.

"Awwww that is so cute" Another vice spoke.

Toshiro could fel himself going red from anger.

"OMG he's blushing" A lady squealed.

"I don't wish to be rude" Toshiro muttered. 'But I am trying to relax"

"Oh don't listen to him; he's just feeing a bit under the weather because of the heat" Matsumoto chose now to speak up.

"Oh do you get heat stroke Hitsugaya Taicho?" A voice asked in concern.

"Yes" Toshiro snapped.

"Awwwwwwww" All the girls cooed.

"Matsumoto we're leaving" Toshiro kept his eyes shut.

"But Taicho, I haven't had my massage" the busty fukutaicho protested.

"Too bad" Toshiro snapped.

"But you'll get overheated again" Matsumoto tried to change her Taicho's mind.

**Listen to her Toshiro, I'll melt'**

_SHUT UP HYOURINMARU. I am so not in the mood_

"We're leaving and that's an order"

"Fine but you'll have to open your eyes" Matsumoto couldn't keep the grin out of her voice.

"But….." Toshiro froze. She was right. She had led him in but she was in a grumpy mood and wouldn't lead him out.

"Come on Taicho open them" Matsumoto pleaded.

Toshiro stood there. He couldn't, it would be rude. But he had to get out of here. Rather the hot instead of humiliation. Rather the fourth division instead of chattering, cooing ladies.

Toshiro opened his eyes a millimetre. He couldn't see anything except for blurry shapes.

"You'll have to open the further Taicho" Matsumoto giggled.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. All the women were wearing bathers, towels, robes. What was this? Matsumoto had said they were all naked. She had been lying!

"MATSUMOTO!"

"Taicho don't, I'm sorry, I thought it would be funny"

Needless to say, the baths were in need of repair

And it was all Toshiro's fault.

**Toshiro: I thought the story was called and it was all Matsumoto's fault**

**Toph Hitsugaya: yeah but the story is gonna end on that line. I couldn't pit it in even if it was technically her fault**

**Matsumoto: hey**

**So I'm not really happy with this chapter. It's ok but I couldn't think of what else to do. PLEASE REVIEW AND LEAVE SUGGESTIONS AND STUFF. I really want people to review, please. **

**Bye**

**PS BLUE CHIBI TAICHO CHAN  
PPS What it's catchy **


	7. Visiting Ukitake

**Visiting Ukitake**

**And it was all Matsumoto's fault**

**Hi all, I'm back after writing 3 other stories (2 one shots and a chapter), I'm back. Are you happy?**

**Thank you to all who reviewed, favourited and followed. You guys are so awesome. You are the wind in my invisible sails. If I actually had sails, it would be a tad weird. Anyways, I'm off to be a stage hand with my new buddy. YEAH! But I'll get this done first. I hope.**

**Ok so I didn't finish the fic (this is being written in after the firs note) and I'm sorry this has taken so long to post. SORRY. I'm also working on a Neji fic called Spider Bite! Yay!**

**And Forever122, love the idea. It will come in later definitely. **

**Bold= Hyourinmaru**

_Italics= Toshiro's thoughts_

**Disclaimer: All yo have to do is check out my artwork to know that I don't own Bleach. But look at Tite Kubo's work. I LOVE IT!**

Toshiro made it back to his division safely and plunked himself back down at his desk. The refreshing feeling from the bath was already wearing off but the feeling of humiliation was sticking to him like that stupid piece of paper from the previous chapter. And to make it worse, on the way back to the division, Matsumoto had just disappeared.

Toshiro scribbled his signature furiously onto a line, the ink splattering everywhere. He imagined he was stabbing the creator of heat. It was an incredibly childish thing to do so when Matsumoto appeared and asked if he was doing the typical 'pretend what you're stabbing is a bad guy' thing the first thought that came into his head was…

_Deny everything_

The second thought that came into his head wasn't actually him

**You're in denial Toshiro**

_Am not and shut up!_

"No" Toshiro muttered.

"If you say so" Matsumoto flipped her hair and casually sat down and began to DO HER PAPERWORK!

Matsumoto must have been able to feel the surprise radiating over her Taicho because she looked up and gave him a quizzical glance.

"Are you ok Taicho?' She asked.

"You're doing paperwork" Toshiro stated.

"Oh Taicho, we've been through this before. It's my way of making whatever I did wrong up to you" She beamed and went back to doodling on the paper.

"What do you want?" Toshiro asked suspiciously as she hummed and giggled.

Matsumoto never hummed or giggled when she did paperwork.

"Nothing" she sang.

Ok now Toshiro was seriously weirded out. Matsumoto didn't sing unless it was Blue Chibi Taicho Chan and there was no way Toshiro was about to let her sing that.

"What's going on?" he asked as he signed his last sheet of paperwork. The moment his pen left the paper, Matsumoto grabbed his arm and dragged him out of his office and down the corridor.

"Come on Taicho. I'm taking you to visit someone!"

"I don't wanna" Toshiro muttered, sounding like a little kid. "Lemme go"

"Aw Taicho you're so cute when your grumpy, hot and sweaty" His fukutaicho giggled.

"I hate you" Toshiro growled.

"Ne don't be like that Taicho" Matsumoto dragged the boy along the corridor. "The place I'm taking you has an air conditioner"

Toshiro just hissed like a cat **(AN: OMG KITTY SIRO CHAN) **and a growl vibrated at the back of his throat even though if anyone was going to sound like a cat it would be Matsumoto.

"Is that what you sound like when you're extremely grumpy?" Matsumoto asked.

Toshiro hissed again.

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

Ukitake sipped at his iced tea and let the cool air of his fully functional, not sake filled air conditioner. He leant back against his pillows and listened to his third seats fight over who would d the paperwork. Actually, he had finished his paperwork and was now expecting a visitor. A visitor who shared a part of his name.

As if he had been heard pondering his visitor, the door to his rooms were flung open and there stood 4 people.

The first 2 were his thirds seats, Kiyone and Sentaro. They had hands in each others hair and were puling viciously. Ukitake sighed. Why couldn't the get along? The again, that was like asking ice-cream not to melt I the sun. Ice-cream was an inanimate object so it would belike talking to yourself. Which Ukitake did all the time.

The remaining 2 people were a certain snowy haired, extremely grumpy looking hissing Taicho and a cheery looking, practically sparkling fukutaicho.

Toshiro Hitsugaya and Rangiku Matsumoto.

"Shiro Chan!" Ukitake said delightfully.

"Don't call me that" Toshiro said as his eye twitched rapidly. He was twitching his eye a lot today.

The angry prodigy turned to yell at his fukutaicho to find her at the door, waving cheerily.

"I'll pick him up in an hour" She called.

"What is this, a playdate?" He yelled.

'You said it not me" Matsumoto laughed and was gone. Toshiro panicked and turned to run when two scary looking, steam rising figures loomed up in front of him.

"Don't disappoint the captain" The said at the same time.

Ay fear that Toshiro had been feeing vanished as the two figures who were really just Sentaro **(AN I was about to write Kankuro here for some reason)** and Kiyone began to argue over the other saying the same thing.

"I thought we could play a board game together" Ukitake said hopefully.

With a hiss Toshiro sat down and crossed his arms.

"Whatever" he sighed.

He regretted saying this as he was literally buried underneath a giant stack of human board games. Toshiro pulled himself out of the pile of scrabble letters and spat out a hotel.

"How did you get all this?" He asked as he pulled playing cards from his hair and let them fall to earth.

"Ichigo" Ukitake grinned. "Why don't we play monopoly?"

"And that is?" Toshiro sighed as he shoved the offensive pile of board games as far away from him as possible.

"Let's find out" Said Ukitake. "I just saw the name on this box"

The only thing that stopped Toshiro from walking out of the room at that moment was the fact that the room had an air conditioner. And it hadn't been filled with sake.

It had nothing to do with scary Sentaro and Kiyone. Nothing at all.

All Toshiro could do now was see how good he and Ukitake were at monopoly.

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

It turned out Toshiro and Ukitake sucked at monopoly.

Toshiro sold Ukitake the Strand for $3000 dollars because they _both_ actually thought it was a good deal. The thought if you landed on a property you didn't have to buy it to own it but that was just because they didn't read the rules.

Eventually, Toshiro sat back and glared at the board as if that might be at fault for sending him bankrupt. It sort of was in a way as Mayfair was on the board but it was mainly Ukitake's fault.

"I guess I win"

"The aim of the game might be to get bankrupt" Toshiro suggested though he knew it was pointless.

"Maybe but I don't think so" Ukitake leant back. 'It's such a nice temperature in here" He sighed.

Toshiro grunted which Ukitake took as an agreement.

"So what's this I've heard about a new song about you?"

"SHUT UP!"

"Did you just yell at the captain?"

"You guys look possessed"

"You mean we're not scary?"

"You're about as scary as Momo signing Christmas carols"

**Sucking at monopoly isn't hard. My sister once gave up all her properties and money expect for par lane for Mayfair. Poor her. And I have an unusual fascination with the fifty note even though blue isn't really my fav character. Heh, Heh I'm so weird. **

**PLEASE REVIEW. Though I took so long to update this that I guess I deserve no reviews… PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And I'm sorry that this took too long. I have a stupid trig test coming up and my maths teacher told me ha my last test was my worst ever and that I'd lost the plot. My bad. **

**Bye**


	8. Can we forget training?

**Ca n we forget Training? **

**And it was all Matsumoto's fault 8**

**Hi all, I'm back. Who's excited? *listens for cheers* my sis had a sleep over party and the next day, I had to get up at like 6:00 to go swimming. Whoopee *note my sarcasm* Ok on with the story **

**Disclaimer: Did I do one on the last chapter? I forget. I don't own Bleach. **

**And I dunno if I've written this before but I'd like to especially thank Forever122 and Anime Ice Dragon who are always faithfully reviewing me. YOU ROCK!**

Toshiro scowled the whole way back to his division after avoiding the 2 stupid third seats. And when he got here, he scowled some more as he had forgotten that he had scheduled a training session for all his seated officers. A training session that Matsumoto had skilfully avoided by suddenly calling an emergency Shinigami Women's association meeting and dashing off with boxes of candy. He wasn't complain about the candy part though. He had been given too much.

It was too hot for this though. Way too hot and it was stupid _late afternoon_. Wasn't it meant to be cooler at this time of day? He was going to be the joke of the seretei if he released Hyourinmaru and all that appeared was a puddle of steaming water and two glaring red eyes.

'_Maybe I should cancel the stupid thing' _He sighed as he watched all his seated officers gather on the outdoor training field, chatting and looking around, probably for him. But he couldn't. He never cancelled. Though he had to admit, it was tempting to today.

The training field was dry, sandy and _the perfect place to train on a hot day_. Not! There wasn't a tree or a spot of shade for a mile around. Literally! Toshiro had measured it once when he was _very _bored. When he was simply bored, he chose to count his collection of dragon plushies, making sure each was in h right place on his alarmed, locked and 24 hour surveillance cupboard. The person who designed this training field was going to hell. Not literally but he could dream couldn't he?

Toshiro scowled once more as the seated officers began to grow restless, waiting for him to show up. Toshiro was in fact, only a few metres away but he had pulled in his reiatsu and had cloaked himself with a kido. He was undetectable to the seated officers. _This is part of the training_, he decided. It was in no way whatsoever, a way to put off this training even further. Nope, it was not that at all. In no such way was it a way to delay the session.

Ok so maybe it _was _a way of prolonging the inevitable training session.

But in his defence, it was very hot.

Toshiro finally began to walk towards his confused officers, making sure he was still undetectable. Then slowly, he drew his sword and slashed the obi of one so that the zanpakuto fell to the ground with the white cloth.

The man grabbed for his fallen sword but Toshiro kicked it away, sending it flying. He did have very strong kicks. This was too easy. Was this man really a seated officer? He wasn't even _trying_ to use kido for goodness sake and showed no sign of trying to check for spiritual pressure. 

Toshiro then repeated the process with a lady who shot a hasty kido in the completely wrong direction, hitting another man and then ran for her zanpakuto which Toshiro scooped up so that it gave the appearance that it was floating, held by invisible hands. Ok, now he was making it way too easy for them. He was easily detectable now.

"There!' A man yelled pointing at the something.

"_Finally' _Toshiro thought. Then he had to reconsider his previous thought of finally.

The man who had yelled 'there' was pointing at the man who had been knocked out by the women's hasty kido. "He must have knocked him out!" The others crowded towards him. "He must be around here"

Toshiro slapped his forehead, the sweat that coated his head sticking to his hand. Was he really commanding a unit this dumb?

"No it's the lady who knocked him out. It must be Taicho in disguise. I haven't even seen her before in our division. The Taicho is dumber then I thought"

It appeared that he did.

While his troops chased the women in circles who yelled that she was the tenth seat Mai Lee, Toshiro waved the zanpakuto he was holding around in a vain attempt to make them realise that it wasn't Mai who was him. It didn't work but it was worth a try. And if at firs you don't succeed, try once and then get seriously angry at the fact that you're failing.

But seriously, it was a freaking flying Zanpakuto. Who else could it be but him? And how cud they not know that the tenth seat was Mai. She had been in her position for 3 hundred years, before he had even become a Taicho.

Toshiro could feel the unusually hot late afternoon sun burning into him, making his head spin and his eyes see fuzzy spots which hadn't been there a second before. Had he drunken any water today? Maybe he had, no he hadn't. There was just no time today to do so. Was that bad? He was starting to sway so maybe it was. There was something about water helping you do something. Ah stay hydrated. That was it! And if you didn't do that well…

His reiatsu snapped free as he felt himself go faint and his kido vanished. The entire division turned in one synchronised motion -that would make a chorus line green with envy- to see him fall, forgetting the beaten up girl on the ground who was still feebly muttering that she was Mai.

"Taicho!" They yelled, rushing over around crowding him. Even their voices were in perfect synchronization, enough to make a choir jealous.

"Back off" he muttered, squinting up at the jostling figures. "Too hot, to close"

Instantly they fell back, flapping their outstretched hands in his face to try and cool him which was just annoying and if anything, made him hotter.

"Just get me a glass of water and I'll be fine" He muttered, his throat parched and his head aching.

"Are you sure you're ok Taicho?" Someone asked.

"Yes I just need water"

"But sir" Another piped. "You practically fainted"

"Yes but usually when someone faints, you go and get them water" Toshiro gritted his teeth, wishing they would go and get him his damn glass of water.

"Still maybe you should rest"

"I just need water"

"But Taicho, perhaps we should take you to the fourth division"

"JUST GET THE FUCKING GLASS OF WATER!"

There was silence and then.

"YES SIR, TAICHO SIR"

And then everyone rushed off to get the water and everyone came back with water and everyone spilt their water on him in one smooth and _yes synchronized_ movement.

Toshiro wasn't complaining though. The surprise dump of water refreshed him and he found himself rather happy wit his seated officers.

But only for a moment.

"I WANT WATER IN A GLASS, NOT ON ME!"

"Sorry sir, Taicho sir"

And they were still in perfect synchronization.

**Sorry this is short. This fic is drawing to a close. There will probably be only about 1 to 3 more chapters so tell me your ideas now and I'll try to use them. **

**And I'm sorry ZakuroU for hitting you today. I'M SORRY FOR LIKING ENVY; I don't know why I do. We're still friend's right… RIGHT!?**

**Ok bye**


	9. Can we forget dinner too?

**Can we forget dinner too?**

**And it was all Matsumoto's fault 9**

**Hey I have some news! In the holidays, I'm going to New Zealand so no updates for a while. Feel free to review and favourite though *wink, wink* It'd be great to come home and find sooooooo many new emails about ! *nudge, nudge***

**I am so, so, so, so sorry this took so long to update. I have an awesome idea for the final chapter but nothing about what's gonna happen in between. And I waned to write at least 3 more chapters. **

**And thanks to all who reviewed. Favourited, followed and even read (Please review though) You guys keep me going!**

**Disclaimer: A certain espada wouldn't die if I was in charge of Bleach which I'm not. Yeah, it's sad times we live in. Hey who can guess what espada I didn't want to die? Please guess and I'll mention you or something. Please guess please!**

Training was finally over and Toshiro was slumped back in his chair in his office, a wet flannel draped over his hot forehead. The flannel had long since dried out (probably from the heat radiating from his forehead) but he lacked the self motivation to move. And he lacked the self motivation to move his mouth to ask Matsumoto to dip it in water.

Plus she would just say no or make an excuse to run away. She might even use the excuse of getting the cloth wet again to run away and get drunk.

Right now, Toshiro's temper was like a bomb. It was slowly ticking away, waiting for the final thing to set it off whether that be an annoying pink haired fukutaicho or a creepy fox faced Taicho.

"Oi short stuff, wanna come to my place for dinner?" A certain orange haired substitute shinigami poked his head into the office.

And there it was.

"NO I DO NOT AND I'M NOT SHORT NOW PISS OFF BEFORE I RELEASE MY BANKAI ON YOUR SORRY LITTLE BUTT!"

Ichigo had to decency to apologise and back slowly away to stand in the door frame.

So Toshiro calmed down.

That was until…..

"Come on please."

Toshiro was 1 second away from busting out his now only partially melted sword but luckily Matsumoto popped her head into the office. Huh where had she gone? Toshiro swore she had been in the room before. Oh well. AH crap she was talking!

"Oh Taicho that sounds lovely, we haven't been to the real world for ages." She beamed.

Toshiro glared at her. "I was there this morning." He snapped.

"Yeah but not me, just you."

"But you just said we!" Toshiro growled. "You said we haven't been to the living world for ages."

"I did?"

Toshiro wanted to smash his head into a wall and knock himself out. But he had tried that option before and that resulted in a day in the fourth division, 10 ton of head ache tablets and being advised to talk to a counsellor. He had done so but found that all he talked about was how hard it was to maintain a perfect image with a fukutaicho like Matsumoto.

This then lead to questions like

1) Does she make you happy though?

2) Is your image one you are happy with or is yur body at war with your mind? (ok was this counsellor on drugs?)

And even

3) Do you love your fukutaicho?

Needless to say, the last question lead to the counsellor's being closed for 'structure damage and repairs' And Toshiro had a sudden decline in his wages for a while.

His bad…

Toshiro zoned back into reality to hear that Matsumoto was begging him to let her go and for him to come too to go to dinner with Ichigo and his family. It appeared she had being doing this whilst he was re-living past memories.

"What were you saying?" he asked tensely, aware that Ichigo had vanished from the door and that his spiritual pressure was heading towards the fourth division.

"I was saying can we please go." Matsumoto begged. "I'll do my paperwork and everything."

"You always say that." Toshiro sighed, not in the mood to propel his words into the form of shouting.

"But this time I really mean it." Matsumoto tried.

"And you always say that." Toshiro couldn't help but smirk. Matsumoto was fighting an already lost battle.

"But this time I really, really mean it."

"I've heard that one as well."

Matsumoto tried to scowl but found she couldn't. Her face just couldn't form scowls, only perky smiles or pouts. So she pouted.

And Toshiro ignored her.

She pouted some more.

Toshiro began to fill out some paperwork that _Matsumoto _should have been doing.

She pouted even more.

"If you keep that up," Toshiro spoke without looking up from his paperwork. "Your face is going to be stuck pouting forever."

Matsumoto's pout slid. "Oh Taicho just lighten up for once in your life and relax. Dinner will be fun. I haven't had fun in ages."

"But only about an hour ago, you were saying how fun it is to see me get grumpy at my officers." Toshiro muttered. "And how you were having fun." His temper had been set off again and it was ticking away.

"Oh did I?" Matsumoto hummed as if trying to remember something. "Nope, I don't remember saying that."

_Cue flashback sequence!_

"_Oh Taicho it's so fun to see you grumpy at your officers. I am having so much fun now."_

"_I'm glad one of us is."_

"_Oh really Taicho, how nice."_

"_I was being sarcastic."_

"_Oh."_

_End flashback sequence_

"Come to think of it," Matsumoto pouted again. "I do remember saying something along the lines of that."

Before Toshiro could retaliate, Ichigo was back with a certain lady with a certain smile on her certain face.

And then Toshiro was in the human world, in a gigai with Matsumoto at his side. Ichigo had gone ahead.

Toshiro looked over and glared at his fukutaicho who was wearing a pretty floral dress that covered only half of her 'rather large assets' in the words of Renji.

"I can't believe you put me in this." Toshiro looked down at his attire. He was clad in dark jeans with chains on them, a black t-shirt and a really, really big coat that swallowed his skinny body. 'I look like a Goth"

"Neh Taicho, that's what you are."

*Twitch, twitch*

"Let's just knock." Matsumoto said hastily, walking forward.

They knocked on the Kurosaki door. Isshin answered.

"Hey are you here to fix our toilet?"

"Uh no."

"Are you sure 'cause its really broken"

"Yeah I'm sure."

"And we can't flush it."

"Oh well."

"And I didn't know you couldn't flush it so I went to the toilet."

"And that means?"

"Help me please."

Before Toshiro could make his escape from this clearly crazy man, Ichigo appeared and pulled Toshiro into the house, Matsumoto following cheerily behind.

Toshiro was dragged through the corridor and into the kitchen where only earlier today, he had sat drinking a slushy with Karin.

Speaking of the girl, she was seated at the table, lounging in her chair, her eyes following a blond girl who was hurriedly setting extra places.

"Ichi-Ni didn't tell me he was inviting extra guests." The blond girl was saying –probably to Karin- as she placed spoons down and stood back to admire her work. "I hope oh!" she spun and saw Toshiro standing there struggling to pull his hand from Ichigo's grip. "Ichi-Ni you didn't tell me your friend was a Goth. I'm Yuzu Mr Goth."

"I am not a Goth!" Toshiro yelled. "She dressed me, that's all." He flung a hand at a certain giggling lady. Yuzu shrugged and looked around before rushing t the stove to stir a bubbling pot.

"What the hell, Ichigo you actually brought home a hot lady." Karin smirked. "It's about time." Them she noticed Toshiro. "Oh hey Toshiro, I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon."

Isshin who was just entering the kitchen heard this comment and gasped; his hand flying to his mouth in an overly dramatic way.

"I knew I recognized you!" He gasped again. "Your Karin's new boyfriend." Isshin clicked his fingers and a spotlight hit him. "Well if you wish to ask for my daughters hand in marriage, you snowy haired sonny boy, first you must fight me. That is the law of the Kurosaki family and it has been this way for generations"

Isshin was soon sent flying out of the spotlight (which vanished instantly) by Ichigo.

"Hey goat face quit lying. Toshiro's only 12, why would he want to marry Karin yet? So stop being an idiot and sit sown BEFORE I MAKE YOU! We're meant to be having a calm dinner!"

Isshin began to sob onto a poster of a smiling lady entitled 'Masaki' whilst Karin shook her head; Yuzu showed Matsumoto to her seat and Toshiro sweat dropped, his eye rapidly twitching and making him look like he had a eye disease.

It was going to be a long night.

And it was all Ichigo's fault

(And Unohana's but he wasn't going to say that out loud. He valued his life)

Could you call it a life though? Technically he was already dead.

Now was not the time for deep and meaningful thoughts.

The again, it would take his mind of the chaos that was sure to erupt sooner or later.

But that would just be rude.

And Granny said being rude was well rude.

Ok that came out a tad weird.

And technically it didn't even come out as he just thought it.

Boy this was making his head hurt.

Ok enough thinking!

But….

Seriously!

Ok, ok…

**Are you happy ZakuroU. I made sure to put full stops after everything. And did you know that I added your pen name to dictionary. I use it too much and I hate the redline. I will add anything to dictionary to prevent me from seeing that annoying redline. **

**And please review, I beg of you. *notices that she just rhymed a sentence without even meaning too and celebrates***

**Ok back to the point. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**And sorry this si so short**

**Next up: Dinner at the Kurosaki's (how original of me!)**

**Bye. *Flies away on Hyourinmaru (Cause ZakuroU won't let her have a rainbow if Envy I going to sit on it cause ZakuroU hates Envy) with her 60 something fav characters* **


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